mixture of my mind
ano daw?
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
::my past life diagnosis::
You were female in your last earthly incarnation. You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Sumatra around the year 1675. Your profession was that of a seaman, cook or carpenter. Your brief psychological profile in your past life:As a natural talent in psychology, you knew how to use your opportunities. Cold-blooded and calm in any situation.The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:The timid, lonely and self-confident people are everywhere, and your task is to overcome these tendencies in yourself and then to help other people.
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
Saturday, September 25, 2004
funny completely to something look back on memory that your refreshes.
CLOSURE
oo, kailangan kita.
e anu ngayon? sa yo?
Saturday, September 25, 2004
Friday, September 24, 2004
funny completely to something look back on memory that your refreshes.
Nobody knows what I'm going through. Nobody realizes the feeling. Not even him. Nobody uderstands. NOBODY.
Friday, September 24, 2004
Thursday, September 23, 2004
funny completely to something look back on memory that your refreshes.
2 am. It's funny to look back on something that completely refreshes your memory. It's sad that right now i'm making the least memory anybody could ever have. 5th month not on the job. It's getting worse than post-graduation when you don't know what job you want to go first. Now, I don't know where to go. And if anybody could ever beat having the consciousness of how random things will be going for me, then praise you.
Saw a documentary on suicide, and the cadavers were shown being dissected and autopsied. As strong as my imagination could get me, even unintentionally and unwillingly, I saw ME being checked out by the funeral guy. Then an actress who loser-ly attempted to commit suicide said she didn't wanna die anymore, coz it felt so alone, sad, and desperate. I concluded i'm slowly committing suicide. kidding. maybe i actually am, but i don't feel so desperate about getting a job. I feel desperate bout not having anything to do.
i quietly play in my mind how i should be in the interviews as soon as i actively search for my next job. i was imagining i would tell the hr people or whoever about the new perspectives i've developed through the months i haven't had work. that though i grew so tired of my previous job that led me to resign (and if they fire me with questions like i can always get tired when at work), i could tell them it's all about this new perspective about work that won't probably make me feel tired. and i feel honest about it.
oh why do i always get lazy about expressing thoughts in my brain that i so depressingly want to let out.
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
funny completely to something look back on memory that your refreshes.
went to the gym. god it felt hard coming back to working out. it made me feel like my body's feeling heavy, without me gaining weight. it's more of the pull of gravity from the sofa from watching tv that turned me into a vegetable.
finally had my clearance signed by joy, cybertron's operations manager. 4 months after I resigned. cool. saw clare, margaux, jedda, miggs, and everyone else that was left behind. here is what i felt when I was with the circle tonight: not totally uneasy, but quite, due to the sameness of what was being talked about during smoke breaks -- other people. quite uneasy of the uneasiness my joblessness implied, or at least tried. And it was supposed to be definitely depressing and frustrating, but deeper than the idleness i felt inside was a nice quiet. something was trying to hold on to what I ought to have realized, or perhaps i already have. damn! it's hard to change.
If only it weren't IMPERATIVE...
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Monday, September 20, 2004
funny completely to something look back on memory that your refreshes.
In some ways, this kind of aloneness gives yet another certain level of consciousness. As this aloneness is combined with joblessness, lesser responsibility towards people I don't know, and more focus on things I should (among everything) be mostly focused on, it brings me into another level of awareness. At least now, I'm less worried about calumny thrown out by significantly clueless people. It's been one of several bad concerns of people living nowadays. Now, there's really no need to wallow on bad judgments, even on the good ones. It all depends on me. And this is just for the record. It's time to stop even talking about it.
Living in wonder is very exciting. Just don't let it further into the bones. It might kill. You or others. Nonetheless, thou shalt not commit murder.
Monday, September 20, 2004
|
|
| |
|
|
|
