mixture of my mind
ano daw?
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::my past life diagnosis::
You were female in your last earthly incarnation. You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Sumatra around the year 1675. Your profession was that of a seaman, cook or carpenter. Your brief psychological profile in your past life:As a natural talent in psychology, you knew how to use your opportunities. Cold-blooded and calm in any situation.The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:The timid, lonely and self-confident people are everywhere, and your task is to overcome these tendencies in yourself and then to help other people.
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Friday, April 09, 2004
funny completely to something look back on memory that your refreshes.
and then, one fine day (which is not exactly just ONE day), you decide to give yourself a chance again. Like, when no one is watching, not even yourself, you suddenly say "YES" to something that you haD decided to stay away from, isolate yourself, and dreaded to the max until it came to that point that you thought you'd never have to suffer from again.
This time, though, it didn't feel like zero again, like ooopppS!!!! i did it again shit, without me knowing it and then doubt all the way from when it started until it ends. Honestly that's boring: a typical love story for people who thought they've learned every lesson in the past and are scared to give themselves away all over, for the mentality that this next one might end sooner or later anyway, 'so I have to be careful and wise'. and so it DOES end.
Of course, IT's NOT WRONG. I'm just saying, I want to do it another way. And maybe, it'd turn out better than how it's treated usually.
I want to offer myself with my whole heart (as much as possible) without the inhibitions that I've taken from the past, because this is something new, and nothing could be fairer than having a clean slate and putting faith in all things that are around you, because that is simply what they deserve. They deserve every drop of loyalty and friendship and love you can provide, because. BECAUSE.
So maybe, just maybe, I had been doing too much thinking and analyzing and interpreting things on my own, maybe with others too. But since I want the multiplicity of things and all NEW possibilities i could learn the heck out of my life from, that NOONE COULD NEVER, EVER, EVER even START TO IMAGINE is like...
...bring it on
... 'coz i could never be more ready than an excited sky diver that just leaped off the deck..
We have to earn silence, then, to work for it: to make it
not an absence but a presence; not emptiness but repletion.
--Pico Iyer, "The Eloquent Sounds of Silence"
Friday, April 09, 2004
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