mixture of my mind
ano daw?
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::my past life diagnosis::
You were female in your last earthly incarnation. You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Sumatra around the year 1675. Your profession was that of a seaman, cook or carpenter. Your brief psychological profile in your past life:As a natural talent in psychology, you knew how to use your opportunities. Cold-blooded and calm in any situation.The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:The timid, lonely and self-confident people are everywhere, and your task is to overcome these tendencies in yourself and then to help other people.
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Friday, June 13, 2003
now, i'd been wanting to write in this kind of smell.
this afternoon had a very familiar aroma. it's akin to every morning as i went to primary and high school, specifically at this time of the month. it smells like the scent of rain (only dry) that brings that light feeling, almost exactly the same mood when i was younger, only this time, i long to go back to the moment that i had to go to school and feel the intensity of being nervous everytime, anticipating to see my classmates (or some), waiting to be called by the teacher for recitation, or simply look outside the shutters on an ongoing lecture and let the breeze touch my face. everytime i feel it, i experience being that timid student i brought with me until i had enough confidence to be more of myself, as what everybody is supposed to be.
at least once a month, i come across this zephyr. the gust that constantly reminds me of who i was, what i've done, what have happened, how or why they happened, and what they made me become. it's similar to the feeling of waking up in the morning, nowadays at night, and i feel the same feeling i had when i woke up the previous day; and the day before that, and before that. the difference is, this kind of draft stretches my memory as far as the time when i was oblivious and naive, gullible to things that hurt me so easily; that extends to that moment when i thought i can do something to please everyone who knows me; as early as the days i thought were the most challenging and tricky of all times.
this kind of afternoon reminds me of my eccentricity, my uniqueness that can hardly be found paired with anyone else's. this kind of afternoon reminds me again that i'm alone.
Friday, June 13, 2003
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