mixture of my mind
ano daw?
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::my past life diagnosis::
You were female in your last earthly incarnation. You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Sumatra around the year 1675. Your profession was that of a seaman, cook or carpenter. Your brief psychological profile in your past life:As a natural talent in psychology, you knew how to use your opportunities. Cold-blooded and calm in any situation.The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:The timid, lonely and self-confident people are everywhere, and your task is to overcome these tendencies in yourself and then to help other people.
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Sunday, May 30, 2004
funny completely to something look back on memory that your refreshes.
and then i met jay. another j. it's kinda funny to think that you can only do so much.. yah you can try harder, but what's it's worth really? sometimes it's indeed a matter of right timing, not about the right person. nah. never.
now i feel so involved with jay's family, and i haven't gone home from baguio. sometimes, you would like to stop analyzing too much, or at the very least, even try to analyze at all.
Jay's nice. At least it seems he has no hangups.. so far. And he looks responsible. has character. And likes, if not yet loves, or has learned to love me. I think of Jom, yes, but should this make me feel guilty? I mean, things can be learned, even through "not" hard ways.
How long will this state of mind last, and what will happen with the way things are dealt with nowadays?
Sunday, May 30, 2004
Thursday, May 27, 2004
funny completely to something look back on memory that your refreshes.
J.S. Jose
You gave me a reason to love again.
You made my life turn back to where it was vulnerable and delicate, and naive, and weak.
You looked at me with the look that says, it's hard, but I should carry on because it's worth another roller-coaster ride and more cliches.
You told me you're in a relationship, and I usually give up on taken and straight people. Yet you're such a challenge. Then, you're not a challenge anymore, but my life.
You cause me fluster and daze in all that I do, until I hear your voice again, and get more flustered and confused.
You want me to look for you, and I start, but still left with the feeling of suspense, not knowing why I should search.
You talk to me for hours and hours that only seem moments to me. I hate the phone. I hate pickin up the phone. I hate talking on the phone. But I love you.
I hate you. I do.
It makes me love you.
You start to ruin my plans, my focus, my center. You were not my center. I had no center. You aren't supposed to be my center, because you've been a center somewhere else. A center of someone else. And all I can hope for is that he loses his focus, and you'll see and feel it, and come to me and be my center.
I start searching, and waiting, and hoping. I am hopeful.
I thought I needed you.
Now I know.
I do.
Thursday, May 27, 2004
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